She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
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Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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