idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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