Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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