I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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