did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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