We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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