I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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