Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
