Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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