thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
