We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
