How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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