Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
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