I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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