I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
