I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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