Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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