if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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