The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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