im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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