So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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