its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?