its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I feel like I smell like bad decisions