just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.