You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
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She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
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So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.