Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
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I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
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I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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