I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
