Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
