i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
