It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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