I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i now understand why vodka
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
