Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I have post one night stand depression
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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