you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
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I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
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After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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