16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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