That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My ATM looks so different sober.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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