Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
God I need to hump something, right now.
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