and you said cock pushups were impossible
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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