D3 body, D1 cock
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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