weddingsv make me drug and hornr
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
