What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
