i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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