Sry I called you an 8
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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