3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
