So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
that's an acceptable place to lick
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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