I feel great
I just peed on a car
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
