I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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