Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize