Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
