He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
