even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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