drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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