Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
