I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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