I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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