If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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