Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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