I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
