I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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