i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
