ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
