I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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